“Goodbye” is a song that Paul wrote for his side, um, project Mary Hopkin. (There is no evidence of hanky-panky between Paul and Hopkin, who had just turned 18 when her first single was released on Apple Records in mid-1968. But given the known twitchiness of Paul’s dick, and that perky blonde Hopkin was just his type, one is suspicious. Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the honor of a lady and a Beatle… but check the expression on Paul’s face above.)

Paul’s version is a home demo that he threw together one afternoon in February 1969:

But to my mind it’s far superior to Hopkin’s recording, which vacillates between Joan Baez–ish flat intonation on the verses and overly chirpy choruses:

“My main memory of ‘Goodbye’ is from years later,” says Paul, “going on a boat trip from the north of Scotland to the Orkney Islands. The skipper of the boat told me it was his favourite song. If you think of it from a sailor’s point of view, it’s very much a leaving-the-port song.”

In some parallel universes, this song is tagged onto the end of Abbey Road instead of “Her Majesty,” giving the Paul-is-deadists one more thing to chew on. But that would have been a little on the nose for the Beatles of our timeline, and anyway Paul had already given the song away — taken it down to the port, put it on a boat, and waved it goodbye.