Most of my searches for Beatles-related info concerning the latter part of September 1966 seem to end up back at “Paul is dead” websites, which points up one of the Internet’s fundamental flaws: It is the perfect medium for the growth and dissemination of stupid conspiracy theories. This is pissing me off so badly that I think I’m going to stop for awhile and just rely on either The Beatles Bible or printed sources.

If you want a conspiracy theory, how about this: Why does there seem to be no record of what Ringo was doing during this period? We know that John was filming How I Won the War in Germany and then Spain; that Paul took a long vacation in France (aforementioned conspiracy theories notwithstanding); and that George was in India learning sitar and yoga. How did Ringo manage to become so invisible? I know he was just the drummer, but geez.

Maybe he spent the time at home, doing crosswords and listening to the radio. That kind of sounds like him. On the other hand, maybe he was abducted by aliens. That also, strangely, sounds like him. Ringo is exactly the kind of guy who aliens would abduct, confident that if he tried to talk about it, no one would ever believe him.

Or maybe he was exploring the world’s oceans in his yellow submarine. With Jacques Cousteau, Keith Moon, and…let’s say…Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren. There’s a great animated movie in there somewhere. Maybe throw in Scooby-Doo and the Harlem Globetrotters. And I guess we might as well have the Pink Panther. I’m going to get to work on the storyboards, see you in a couple of days.

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