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Today Jane Asher went on the BBC to announce to the world that her fiancé, Paul “Ol’ Twitchy Dick” McCartney, had cheated on her and been kicked to the curb.

No, it didn’t go like that; these were, again, British people, and it was a more genteel time overall. But Jane did let slip, during an appearance on a chat show called “Dee Time,” that her engagement had come to an end: “I haven’t broken it off, but it is broken off, finished.”

This must have gotten a lot of women very excited — “Paul’s on the market again!” But the truth is, Linda Eastman already had this one sewn up; it was just a matter of time.