After three weeks at #1 in the UK charts, today “Hello Goodbye” claimed the same position in the U.S., wresting it away from the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer.” That’s right, it was the Fab Four battling the Prefab Four for the coveted spot.

Because it is Christmas Eve and I’m a little tipsy, I find myself wondering who would win an actual fight between The Beatles and the Monkees. On the Beatle side, George and Paul would obviously be useless. But Ringo is a pretty rough-and-tumble kind of guy, and I suspect that John Lennon — an angry drunk of Irish extraction — would be hell on wheels in a bar brawl.

As for the Monkees, Davy Jones was a tiny little man; he and Paul would probably end having a slap-fight on the side. Peter Tork, at 5’10” and 145, is a bit of a string bean. Mickey Dolenz, though, is a strapping lad and likely a good scrapper. The X factor is Mike Nesmith, who is rangy and long and from Texas. If he got in a few good shots, he could end this thing early.

And yeah, that’s about all the space this little fantasia is worth…it probably doesn’t amuse any of you as much as it does me, but what the hell, it’s a holiday. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.